Thoughts..

so, i went out for my nightly think session. i sat on my car. put on my hefty jacket, and while the wind blew through my hair and across my face, tears ran down my face. and although things have gotten better in my situation in making friends, i somehow find it incredibly hard to keep on going.

so, i picked up my phone to run to a friend. and something popped into my head that was spoken by a guy at a youth thing i went to saturday night. " the difference between a mature christian and a baby christian , is the mature christian runs to God first, instead of friends or mentors. " It was like a freaking slap in the face. God's sittin there like, " wow, you're really going to call him. over me. kinda like the creator of the universe here..?"and i was like. dude. i'm sorry.

which also triggered another thing. i have major trust issues. and i realized, that if i can't trust God, i can't trust anyone.


so those are my two things to start working on. of course there are freaking many other issues, but i choose those two first. haha.

g'night world. sleep in peace.